Killer Raccoons 2: A Better Christmas Movie than Die Hard

The Only Christmas Movie You Need this Summer

Killer Raccoons 2: Dark Christmas in the Dark is the heartwarming Christmas movie that you need for your summertime entertainment. Casey Smallwood is celebrating his freedom after doing ten years in the pen for underage drinking. He just wants to meet up with his dead ex-girlfriend’s sister and head to DC to start his new life. So, he jumps on the express train. That train just so happens to be hijacked by domestic terrorists and highly trained raccoons. They want to use a laser satellite to destroy the country; Casey can’t let that happen.

Just by watching the trailer you’ll be able to tell of this movie is for you or not. If you like your movies super serious and hold filmmakers to a high level of technicality we probably can’t be friends. Also, you would hate this movie. All I needed to see was the poster to know that I had to see this flick. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited to get a screener.

With all that being said, let’s get into it!


Let me get this out of the way right now: Killer Raccoons 2 is fucking ridiculous from start to finish. There is a healthy range of humor from satirizing action flicks to recurring dick jokes, you get it all. There are even a few jokes that land in that Blazing Saddles-esque sweet spot. I got a few full-on belly laughs out of Killer Raccoons 2.

One of my favorite things about this flick is that it was a pretty original concept. Sure, the whole terrorists on a train thing has been done before; in fact, I heard Brad Jones say that this was like a satirical take on Under Siege 2 but I’ve never seen that movie. I would probably prefer this movie anyway. I’m willing to bet there isn’t a single gun-toting raccoon in any of Segal’s flicks.


          Killer Raccoons 2 isn’t a perfect movie. It’s a ton of fun but there are some things I didn’t like. For instance, there is a character in the secret military base that talks exclusively in baby talk. Maybe it’s a reference that I’m missing. Either way, the character was nails on a chalkboard; luckily there isn’t a lot of him in the movie. Some of the jokes go on for a little bit too long. There’s a 9-11 joke that just keeps going for like two solid minutes. It’s funny as hell at first but then it just gets kinda dumb. It’s like the Family Guy effect. There are a couple of things like that; they go from funny to a little cringe, but I didn’t expect a perfect movie.

All in All…

All in all, would I recommend this movie? If you’re into fun, ridiculous, low-budget movies with some sophomoric humor then fuck yeah I would recommend this one. Like I said, I think you can tell by the trailer and cover art if you’re going to be into this one or not. If so, get baked like a gingerbread man, put this flick on, and have yourself a merry little Christmas in August.  You can check it out on VOD platforms now and Indican will be doing a DVD release this fall.




Hey guys! I'm Yeti, the head writer of TN Horror News and co-host of The Horror Basement Podcast. I'm a tattooed weirdo who has been a huge horror fan for as long as I remember. I'm not super picky when it comes to movies; I dig it all. I'm a lover of the extreme, offbeat, retro, sleazy, and the down right awful. If you want to connect, you can hit my Instagram @the.yeti.616

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.