Headless follows a masked killer as he embarks on a spree of brutal murder, cannibalism, and necrophilia. As his tortured past rears its ugly head, the killer is driven deeper into madness. As a result, he brings a new brand of hell to a roller rink employee and everyone close to her.

Headless takes the normal slasher formula and turns it on its ear. Where most slashers follow the victims and only show the killer when it’s time to do the killing, Headless spends more time with The Killer than anyone else. This allows us to get inside his incredibly scarred and fucked up mind. Through flashbacks, we get to see what made him do what he does. In fact, we get to see him kill a couple of chicks before the main set of victims is introduced.

The Premise

We get to see the making of a brutal serial killer through flashbacks. The Killer was kept in a cage as a child. His mother and sister blamed him for his father leaving and all the other bad shit that happened as a result. They feed him the heads of small animals, verbally abuse him, and there’s some implied incestuous molestation at the hands of his older sister. The boy never really stood a chance.

His only friend in life is simply known as Skull Boy. As far as I can tell, this creepy little bastard is a construct of The Killer’s broken mind as no one ever interacts with him or reacts to his presence. Trust me on this, if someone else saw him, they would react. Skull Boy’s entire reason for existing is to help The Killer through the rest of his fucked up life by instructing him to kill.

Nightmare fuel..

Neither the Killer nor Skull Boy speak throughout the film. The Killer laughs and screams and Skull Boy points and makes weird clicking noises. Kind of like the kid from Hereditary but way creepier.

The Killer will take out a man if he’s in the way but his compulsion is to kill women. He might take different routes to get to the climax but no matter what it usually ends the same way. He eats the eyeballs, cuts off the head, and fucks it. He doesn’t just shove his dick in the head’s mouth like some normie. Oh no! The Killer goes the extra mile and fucks the heads right in the neck stump.

The Story

Outside of the flashbacks, there’s not a whole lot of plot to get in the way of the action for the first half of the film. That’s okay, though because there is plenty of action to go around. I wasn’t expecting some epic tale. No, Dear Reader, we all know I was here for the depraved decapitation and neck-stump necrophilia.

A Strong Start

Headless opens with a badass title card that gives a nod to the story behind making the film, more on that later.  This awesome title cared is followed by a montage that consists of The Killer doing his thing. He scoops a woman’s eyeball out and eats it before fucking her severed head. Then it cuts to a woman tied to a gurney where he then cuts off her head and well… fucks it. Keep in mind, this is all going on while the opening credits roll.

I was gettin some head. Get, gettin some head..

After the credits we get to see what this maniac’s nightmares look like. He wakes up in his rusty cage and barely has time to blink the sleep out of his eyes before Skull Boy shows up. They stare at one another for a few seconds before Skull Boy lets him know it’s time to get his ass up and make the doughnuts.

Get up and kill, you lazy shit!

The Killer and Skull Boy then lure a fishnet-wearing hottie to a shed and tie her up. The Killer toys with her for a few minutes before fucking her with a machete, cutting off one of her breasts, then slowly cutting off both of her legs.

Don’t worry, she doesn’t need them anymore.

He then puts her head in a bowling bag to take home where he gets down to business with the disembodied esophageal aardvarking and eyeball eating.

…or this

That’s right folks! Not even fifteen minutes into the flick and we’ve got machete rape, limb removal, several decapitations, and more necrophilia than a funeral home on a Saturday night. Headless lets you know what you’re in for from the jump.

Nightmare Visions and then Some

After getting his nut and storing his new homemade Fleshlight on the shelf with the rest of them, The Killer returns to his cage to get some rest. At this point, we are introduced to The Killer’s sister and mother through a nightmare flashback. It really sets up just how fucked up and abusive his childhood was. It also lets us know how we’re going to get the backstory on this big bastard.

These niche Fleshlights are getting really fucking weird.

Setting up the Pins

At this point, we’re introduced to the gang at the skating rink. Jess (Kelsey Carlisle) is bitched out for being late by her greasy creep of a boss, Slick Vic (Brian Williams). Feeling defeated by her shitty boss and deadbeat asshole boyfriend, she turns to her coworker Betsy (Ellie Church) for comfort. The two have a little chat and Jess starts to feel better about life. This whole scene exists to set up the main victims and really drive home the seventies setting.

We spend a little more time with the skating rink crew before they all go home for the evening. Betsy is followed by The Killer and Skull Boy before pulling away and leaving them in the dust. Since they couldn’t have her, the pair pick up a hitchhiker.

Hitchhiking is Bad for You



Even though The Killer never says a word, this chick will not shut the fuck up. Somewhere in her rambling, she pulls out a joint and asks if it’s cool to spark it up because, ya know, “ass, grass, or gas.” Unbeknownst to her, the driver of this truck doesn’t want ass, gas, or grass; he just wants some head.

Is there a fourth option? Thought so.

Some shit goes down and he ends up chasing her through the woods and some dilapidated buildings before finally running her into a pit of bloody bodies. She falls into the pit of gore and understandably freaks the fuck out.

Don’t worry, you’ll fit in just fine..

This sequence feels more like a classic slasher film than anything else in the movie. The victim runs, screaming with her titties almost falling out of her low-cut shirt, from an almost silent pursuer. No matter how fast she runs, he catches up to her and does away with her. From the chase to the inevitable desecration of a disembodied dome, this sequence is fucking brilliant.

Origins of Evil

ProTip: Don’t keep kids in cages.

After The Killer gets his nightmarish necrophilia nut, we get another flashback. This one starts off with The Killer’s mom berating him for all the bad shit she thinks he caused. Then we get to see how she and the sister work together to make The Killer’s life a living hell. The mother bitches about having to feed him until his sister comes in with a rabbit. His mom chops the head off the rabbit and gives it to him as his dinner. This scene also sets up his fascination with severed heads and eating eyeballs.

This chocolate bunny sucks..


After this nightmare, we go back to Jess and her deadbeat boyfriend Pete. The conversation between Jess and Betsy earlier in the film set Pete up to be a total piece of shit. Turns out, it was an understatement. Jess’ life sucks because Pete exists. That’s pretty much the point of this whole scene.

Jess goes back to work and has another conversation with Betsy about how much of a piece of shit her boyfriend is and they also take a moment to rip on their creepy boss.

Chat now, for later you shall die!

After that little back and forth we get another flashback. In this one, we get to see the siblings as teenagers. The way his sister talks to him seems mildly seductive up until she asks him if he wants a drink. When he vigorously nods in the affirmative she stands up on his cage and pisses on his face. With no other choice, he drinks the piss. She berates him for being a disgusting animal. We’re really starting to see why he hates women.

Panic at the Roller-Disco

Then we go back to the skating rink. They’re closing up for the evening and Slick Vic is hitting on Jess and Betsy. Even though they both shoot him down, when Jess leaves to go see Pete’s band play Betsy and Vic slip off to the back room. Vic is railing Betsy from behind while she does coke when they hear someone slam the door. Vic goes to investigate and is taken out by The Killer. His scream alerts Betsy who skates out topless into the darkened rink to see what the fuck is going on.

Implied roller skate aardvarking!

Betsy sees Vic’s corpse, screams and alerts The Killer. She tries to skate away but falls. The Killer is on her within seconds and no amount of bravado will stop him from doing what he came to do. Betsy gets the eyeball removal treatment before he cuts off her head. He doesn’t fuck the neck stump just yet.

“Oh god! It’s in my eye!”

Good Old Fashioned Matricide

Before we can go on, there’s another flashback. This time there are some really heavily implied molesty vibes coming from the sister. She opens his cage so he can “come play with big sister,” but she doesn’t get quite what she’s looking for unless she wanted him to kill her and eat her eye.

His mom finds the two together and freaks the fuck out. In one of the most satisfying kills of the film, he calms the mother down by burying a machete in her gut.

Happy Mothers’ Day, ya filthy animal!

Trouble in Paradise

The Killer and Skull Boy go to leave, carrying the bowling bag and Betsy’s body when they see a picture of Jess on the wall. They know that she has to be theirs.

Then we go back to Pete being a piece of shit, the couple fighting, and then they go home. The killer comes in, fucks Pete up, and goes after Jess. After some cat and mouse, he holds Jess’ hands and makes her stab the shit out of Pete. This results in another super satisfying kill.

Here, let me help you with that.

She thinks that just because she killed Pete, The Killer is going to let her go. She’s wrong. The Killer goes so far as to step back and motion her toward the door before snatching her up once again.  She is the victim of one of the bloodiest decapitations in the film. Talk about a money shot.

Tall Masked Man Facialized

Shortly after he cuts off Jess’ head we get to see both the best flashback of the film and what I assume is his first neck stump fuck. The head in question is his abusive psycho bitch mother. Where else are you going to get full on incestuous necrophilia?!

Fuck you, mom!!!

The rest of the movie plays out like another one of The Killer’s nightmares. There’s no putting that shit into words, folks. You’ll just have to see it for yourself.

The Look

So, this movie is based on the one that Marty watches in Found. The folks behind the movie decided to stretch it out to a feature-length film and it was funded by a Kickstarter campaign. It is supposed to look like a lost slasher flick from 1978. The cinematography, lighting, and wardrobe come together to make it pretty convincing. The rivers of blood and buckets full of eyeballs are definitely modern practical effects, though. The spirit of this film is the perfect marriage of old school exploitation and modern extreme cinema. If it wasn’t for a few members of the cast that I recognize from other films, I would totally believe that it was a lost 70s movie with some great practical effects.

The Performances

The acting in this film is pretty solid across the board. There are a few lines of dialog that fall a little flat but they all feel like shit that would be written in the late-70s or early-80s, so I guess that works. Honestly, this movie reminds me of Pieces from time to time and that’s totally fine with me.

The Depraved Duo

The killer doesn’t speak but he does scream, laugh, sob, and kill. All of these things are done really well. Shane Beasley pulls off the deeply disturbed maniac killer thing like a champ. When he is stalking, taunting, or attacking his victims, The Killer is an imposing and terrifying figure. When he has mental breakdowns between kills, he comes off as genuinely vulnerable and broken. There are moments when The Killer is almost a sympathetic character. Almost.

Skull Boy, on the other hand, is fucking creep-tastic no matter what. His eyeless skull mask serves to make him even more inhuman. The fact that he is sits on the sidelines and claps with child-like excitement while The Killer does his work makes him even more frightening. I mean, look at this motherfucker. Just look at him! I’ve said it before and I stand by it: this is the creepiest child ever put in a movie, period.

Feast your eyes upon the nope.

The Victims

If you’re a regular reader, you know my stance on victims in horror movies. I don’t give a shit if every line of dialog that comes out of their mouths is as wooden as John Wayne’s teeth; it’s all in how they suffer. All of the victims in this film suffer really well. As far as the female victims go, I would have to say that my favorites were the hitchhiker and Betsy. The hitchhiker gets that classic chase scene only to die in a pit of corpses. Betsy, on the other hand, talks some really tough shit before she gets her eyeball scooped out.

Another thing I like about Headless is that it gives you some really satisfying kills. Watching Jess kill the everloving shit out of Pete was great. He was such a deadbeat piece of shit and I’m glad she got that closure before she lost her head. Also, knowing that The Killer got revenge on his sadistic abusers was a nice touch.

Final Thoughts

All in all, would I recommend Headless? You bet your roller skates I would! This is a violent, gory, depraved piece of cinema that I am glad I watched. There might be a lack of plot for part of the movie, but there is enough eye candy, action, and gore to keep you interested. It’s definitely not for everyone but if the phrase, “incestuous severed head necrophilia,” doesn’t make you want to tuck your tail and run, I think this one is for you!

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