Kill, Granny, Kill!

                Abby, in need of a job, answers an ad online to be a live-in caretaker for a little old lady. After getting the job, she leaves her friends, family, and boyfriend to go stay in a farmhouse out in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere with Mildred. The rules are simple and strictly enforced: no swearing and no fornicating in the house. When Abby breaks those rules she finds out just how serious Mildred is.

I think that we, as a society, need more cannibal granny movies. Old people are fucking scary before they start munching on the neighbors and, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if most of them had at least tried a bit of the ol’ long pig. Needless to say, when I saw the premise of this movie, I was instantly on board.

While I was fully interested I didn’t know quite what to expect going into this movie. What I got was an interesting story, some pretty decent practical effects, and some damn fine performances. The characters, including Mildred, were likeable and when they kick the bucket I actually cared. There were even a couple “What? No!” moments. Those are hard to beat. This is overall a well put together film.

Let’s take a moment to talk about Mildred. She hunts, kills, cooks, and eats people with the help of her grandson and a few other flesh eaters. She’s just as sweet as iced tea and apparently she’s one hell of a cook. While she is all about the murdering and munching, she is also super religious. When a gay man comes on TV pleading for his missing boyfriend to come home, she starts talking about how there is so much filth is in the world and how Jesus doesn’t like the gays. The funny thing is, she probably ate the missing boyfriend. She goes full on psycho on Abby for getting laid and kills the shit out of some guy for cursing. Just like most old religious people, Mildred doesn’t make a lick of sense. This is what makes her such a great character.

All in all, would I recommend this movie? Damn straight I would! Are you kidding me? There’s violence, sex, cannibalism, and a bat shit crazy old lady; this movie has it all! Head over to Alternative Cinema and get your copy today. Have some friends for dinner and enjoy the ride.