An Ode to Leprechaun Returns


I know, I know. I’m late to the Leprechaun Returns party. By now you’ve seen the trailer, you’re twitter feed has been awash with the little green bastard, and every one is talking about it, but has any of the other horror pages written a poem about it? Didn’t think so.

Saint Patty’s Day comes early this year

Don’t steal his gold or he’ll bite off your ear.

December 11th your blood will run green.

Video on Demand makes it easy to stream.

No Warwick you say?

You shout in dismay

I have faith

for this new lad looks rather obscene

He’s emerged from a well

Brings environmentalists hell

He promises the gore filled routine.

It’s terrible. I know. Cut me me some slack I haven’t written a poem since middle school. Don’t let my shitty poem turn you off from what is sure to be a fun slasher. I’ll admit I wasn’t the biggest Leprechaun fan growing up, but Leprechaun Returns has piqued even my interest.


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