Yeti’s Top 13 Moves (so far)

              So, yesterday was my one year anniversary on the Tennessee Horror News team. Over the last 12 months I have watched so many movies. I’m honestly not sure how many horror flicks I’ve seen since I started this gig. I’m going to assume it’s right up there with the number of tattoos I have: a bunch. Some of them have been…not so great but some of them have become my favorites. There are a few that I ended up watching multiple times and forced my loved ones to watch them as well. There are few things I enjoy more in life than getting a little bit (or a lot) altered and watching an enjoyable horror movie.

                That being said, I have decided to compile a top thirteen list of my favorite films that I’ve reviewed during my time here at Tennessee Horror News. These are in no particular order, and if you want you can go check out my reviews on them. Enjoy!

Sightings – I fucking love bigfoot movies! This one is special because the twist that makes it so cool would usually ruin a movie for me. (Looking at you, Altergeist!) It’s a super enjoyable movie that answers some big questions about why you never see a bigfoot corpse or any good video of one.

Head – It’s a bunch of people who go out into the woods, get high, drink beer, fuck, run afoul of a weird cult, and most of them die. The difference here? They’re all puppets! Not a single human in the whole movie. Yeah, I said they were out in the woods fucking. There’s puppet sex. Better puppet sex than Team America too.

Lunch Ladies – This short film is so fun! It’s about a couple of lunch ladies who are trying to reach the ultimate goal of being Johnny Depp’s personal chefs. It’s the best movie about sneaky cannibalism you’ll see. Also, the feature length version of this short may be coming in the future. There’s hope for the world, still!!

Clowntergeist – Ribcage the Clown is a demon clown that hunts down people with clown phobias and toys with them for a few days before fucking them off something proper. He leaves notes letting you know just how much time you’ve got before he ends you. This was a fun one to watch. Also, Ribcage could fuck Pennywise up.

Taku- he – Remember I said I love bigfoot movies? Yeah. This one too. This is shoestring budget filmmaking at its finest. The two things that make this stand out to me are the killer sound design and the appearance by Han Solo early in the film. This one was so fucking fun.

Black Holler – You know what I love just as much as bigfoot movies? Horror comedies. This eighties throwback shot right here in Tennessee is a pretty great horror comedy and just a fun ride all the way around. The soundtrack is awesome, the plot was interesting, and the jokes landed pretty well. The characters were memorable too. Who could forget Scampers With Squirrels and Brett? Brett never changes. For anybody. Ever.

Terrifier – Eat your fucking heart out, Ribcage, or Art will do it for you! The in the short list of badass clowns, Art the Clown is on the top. If he dumped out his bag of tricks and a wallet fell out, I bet it would say “Bad Motherfucker” on it. I’m just saying, man. Seriously though, this movie was just kill after kill and it was beautifully done. Terrifier > IT. Fight me.

Who’s Watching Oliver– Good lord, I was not ready for this movie. It was fucking disturbing. My absolute favorite thing about this film is that Oliver is a goddamned monster, an absolute beast, but there comes a time in the movie where my heart broke for the poor guy and by the end of the movie, I was rooting for him! When you watch a dude decapitate his victim while raping her, it takes some damn fine writing to make him a sympathetic character in the end. Great film.

The Fear Footage – Found footage and an anthology all in one? Yes please! Neat concept, well done jump scares, and a good plot made it one of the more enjoyable films I’ve seen.

A Serbian Film – Ok, look. Is this movie super fucked up? Yes. Should everybody watch it? FUCK NO! It’s a politically motivated artistic statement, though. Like, it’s not just a “turn your brain off” gorefest with weird sex stuff. Yeah, it scarred me a little bit and I wouldn’t say I had a great time watching it but to say that it’s a bad film would be a lie. It was a really well put together piece of cinema and saying that it sticks with you is a pretty big understatement. It totally deserves its place on this list.

Ruin Me – This movie really fucked with my head. Mostly because I expected it to be campy and funny and it was dark and twisted. Kind of like when you think you’ve got ice water in your cup but it turns out that it’s Sprite and Absolut. It wasn’t what I was looking for, but I definitely wasn’t complaining.

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich – Talk about your triumphant reboots. So much ink has been spilled over this movie in the last few weeks that I’m not even going to rehash it. It was a great time, though and I eagerly await the sequel.

One of Us – Ultra rad cult movie that takes shots at woonatics and “alternative medicine” I can definitely dig that. Making a villain is easy. Making a charismatic character isn’t rocket appliances. Creating a charismatic character that the viewer can hate with ever fiber of their being? That’s a little more difficult.